Hybrid-inator 3000!

A short table perhaps useful in generating hybrid monsters or reskinning current hybrids is here.

Four columns represent man-parts, herbivore-parts, predator-parts, and winged-creature-parts.  I didn't do an all-aquatic column (sorry, hippocamp), but there are some aquatic features in the columns.  Here's how to use the darn thing to reskin a hybrid monster.

1) Select the hybrid you want to reskin.  Let's try an owlbear.
2) Check out the current 'parts'.  With an owlbear, we're looking at a bird head on a predator body.
3) Roll on the appropriate columns for replacement species.  In this case, let's say we rolled 'vulture' and 'weasel'.
4) Decide (very quickly if this is mid-game!) whether you can just reskin it (describe a vulture-weasel and use owlbear stats) or whether you want to tweak the stats.  In this case, I might make the creature slighter (lower HD) but faster or something.

Same thing works with chimeras, pegasi, griffons.  Egyptian gods.  Whatever.

The last result on each column says 'column shift' - you roll on the next column over (to the left or right, as you please, or you can dice for it).

Some sample results:
Hippogriff - was eagle/horse, is now cardinal/koala.
Chimera - was lion/goat/dragon, is now badger/tortoise/squid.
Manticore - was a bat-winged lion with the face of a man; is now a moth-winged cobra with the face of an evil clown.
Sphinx - was an eagle-winged lion with the face of a man/woman/hawk/ram; is now a duck-winged cheetah with the face of a savage ape.

Cedric awoke to find he had lost his job to a raven-faced badger.

One Hundred Magic-Users

When hiring a sorceror, one must be careful regarding reassuring stereotypes; they are not a universal indicator of  experience, wisdom, or sanity.

Here's the latest: a d100 table for generating traits for wizards and the like, entitled One Hundred Magic Users.  Let me know if the link doesn't work right, I'm experimenting here.

The table offers kennings and nicknames, outstanding features, hobbies/goals, and a hundred different familiars.  Perfect when you have a room full of wizards and need to distinguish them on the fly.  I didn't do names - they're often campaign-specific in flavor, so I left it out this time.

I Miss Gleep Wurp: Random Fantasy Names

Remember "Gleep Wurp, the Eye-Biter"?  He was one of the pregenerated characters in the Against the Giants series of modules back in the day.  Weirdest name ever?  Yep.  Some people hate 'stupid fantasy names'.  I think I like 'em.

One of my pals at work mentioned that something which vexes him while DMing is coming up with names on the fly.  So I started on a random table for names...it got a little out of hand.

Anzel "the Dandy Bastard" Thwyp, well-known as the Half-Wit Poet of the Laughing Archipelago.  We can only presume the Archipelago is laughing AT him, rather than with him.

Open this googledoc in a separate window and let's take a look at this bad boy.

First things first - you're looking at eight columns of crap, with a hundred entries each.  From left to right:

A & B give you ridiculous fantasy (or Star Wars!) names.  Column A is all two syllables or more, Column B is all two syllables or less.  I find that a long first name and a short surname gives a Dickensian feel, but you can use 'em in any order.  Or multiples of one column.

C & D give you adjectives and professions, respectively.

E & F are place-name descriptors (adjective, noun).

G has stuff that can be combined into stupid faux-badass adventurer names ("Ravenstar Darkblade!")

H is nicknames (these lean a little Western).

How to use the table?  However you see fit.  Even if you don't like weird fantasy names, the other bits might be useful.  Let's play with this thing.

A B C D  (10 ; 93 ; 59 ; 61)
Glindal Zur, the Unkillable Cleric.  Next time you have to show up somewhere with a higher-than-first-level character, I dare you to roll the guy's name and reputation before you even start the sheet.  Show up to the table with Ostio Stroop, the Lich-Boxer and look like a cosmic-level badass.  This guy punches liches in the goddamn face.

A B C D E F  (48 60 71 80 25 74)
Kroyden Koz, Masochistic Enchanter from the Rejected Swamp.  Rejected by whom?  The Gods?  I've no idea, but this wizard wants to feel your pain.


Let's do a place-name, E F B (21 ; 62 ; 81)
The Moon-Blessed College of Bipp.  I have to confess my randomly-rolled sample came out on the lame side.  The Upside-Down Desert of Xim is a million times cooler.  But that's the beauty of a random table, it can just be an inspiring list of words.


Now let's hire a mercenary with B H G G C D (49 ; 20 ; 20 ; 16 ; 29 ; 7)
Voll "One-Eye" Devilshield, the Gallant Warrior.  (that worked out better than expected)  I know I'm tooting my own horn here, but any table on which you can roll Flatulent Gravedigger is a winner in my book.

Lots of possibilities.  Need a parable?  Surely you remember the tale of the D and the C D (57 ; 1 ; 99) -- the Tale of the Carpenter and the Pious Jester?  No?  It's a classic morality story, I assure you.


Also keep in mind that you can easily substitute columns from my Frontier Town Generator to mix up your location-names, adjectives, or nouns.  Do whatever!  Mix, match, let your imagination run wild - and don't be afraid to try to make sense of the ridiculous stuff.


Because if you can't do something with "Bosko Boof, the Lovelorn Hangman of Monkey Junction", then there's no hope for you.  (In this case I have to wonder whether our dear singleton Bosko is just the local executioner, or whether he's the chief monkey-catcher in a town overrun by simians; perhaps he leaves the monkey-corpses hanging, two or three in each tree throughout town, to discourage the other monkeys...because fantasy, that's why.)

Post your favorite (rolled or constructed) name from the tables in the comments section!

Frontier Town Name Generator

 

Here's a quick set of tables I ginned up to generate town names (and geographic features) for Wampus Country.

Three d100 tables; 'A' is primarily adjectives, 'B' is nouns, and 'C' is geographic features or settlement types.  So you could roll A+B, A+C, A+B+C, whatever.  Be prepared to add plurals and possessives where appropriate.  Nonsensical or redundant results are of course possible ('Bent Bend').

It's a googledoc spreadsheet; if anybody wants to format it all purty, have at.

Time of the Witch

I don't think there are enough witches in D&D.  There, I said it.
 

Witches are a fairy tale staple; and malevolent magic-users of both genders populate sword and sorcery fiction.  Yet usually we see the 'sexy sorceress' more often than we see a nice, scary crone.  Over the years, I've had PCs deal with plenty of evil wizards, but very few witches, and I don't have a good explanation for that.  But I do have a solution.

Random Tables for Striga Generation

Why 'striga' and not 'witch'?  No deep reason.  The striga of folklore seem to exist in this space between life and death; they aren't just "evil female spellcasters" with an optional "rural" template overlaid.  The entries in these tables go for a weird horror/fairy-tale vibe, as you'll see.

The options in the tables could randomly give you anything along the witchy spectrum (including a green-skinned witch with a broom), out to something truly weird that wouldn't be out-of-place in a game with a strong horror feel.  The whole thing is system-less and meant for inspiration, not stat generation.  I think they might be useful not just for characterizing witches, but for adding gruesome details to the many 'hag' variants which populate D&D's history.  Hags are underused, too.  Let's see some hag love!