Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Excerpts from Pazoodle's Modern Lexicon

When you make up silly words, ask your eight-year-old to define them, and then extrapolate to try to make that fit in your D&D setting, you get something like this.  Kudos to the Boy, Mrs. Wampus for playing along, and the Plus Squad who suggested more words when we ran out.

a very fashionable frontier dictionary

slangamok - noun or verb.  Onomatapoeic representation of the sound of a sword or axe colliding with the head of a giant; or, verb form of same.  Used today by some youths as a synonym for 'superlative', or to describe a really good drinking party.

flazzlenazzer - noun.  1.  a miniature lavender goat, insectivorous, which dwells in underbrush; its spoor resembles fallen blueberries to an unfortunate degree.  2. disparaging term for someone who smokes cigars while holding an infant, or who seems the sort of person to do so.  

flooge - noun.  A peculiar subspecies of grizzly bear, chestnut in color,  whose head is continuously on fire; the flooge rips chunks of meat from its prey, then sears them on its forehead before consuming.  When hibernating, the flooge merely smolders.

boongammer - noun.  1. a tremendously fat nocturnal bird whose deep call has a tendency to lock or unlock nearby doors.  2. any portly burglar.

clogdoggle - noun.  1. a wolf-trap designed to introduce, by means of a spring, a glue-coated cork into the fundament of the animal.  2. a really stupid idea on which too much time has been wasted.

frexallate - verb.  To cause confusion in another by means of loquaciousness.

plaggette - noun.  Consumable toothpick made of hard bread, typically flavored with bacon-grease and hot sauce.

wangatoor - noun.  A portable calculating device in the shape of an antelope.

hambedaggler - noun.  One who makes his living by sculpting wedding centerpieces out of pork.

walepoke - noun.  A roadside restaurant that serves small hamburgers to passers-by.

sardonizer - noun.  A stone mug reserved solely for drinking warm milk.

munciflage - noun.  1.  A crank-powered miniature orrery and bellows, bearing suspicious probe-hoses, used by sorcerors to understand the nature of a demonic possession; diagnosis is made based on certain pressure differentials.  2. An uncomfortable but necessary task is said to be munciflaginous.

abbloviment - noun.  1.  A secret room or crawlspace in a house, typically on the second story, designed for hiding malformed or insane family members.  2.  The hollow space inside a poison-ring.

klangodontia - noun.  A shop or stall which sells lobsters and other sea animals.

gurphotrophy - noun.  A fondness for unusually-propelled vehicles.

fruzoont - noun.  A poisonous black-and-white flower which grows only in crone-gardens.

hooblemous - noun.  A burglary-tool for the scaling of chimneys or tall trees, consisting of a harness and crotch-spring.

blort - noun.  A white and yellow honeybee bearing a human-like face.

frumkin - noun.  An egg-shaped confection composed of cashews and persipan, traditionally gifted to unpopular neighborhood widows on holidays.

woggle - verb.  1. To force-feed alcohol, typically bourbon, to a cow or goat, in hopes of producing intoxicating milk.  2.  To attempt something which seems like it ought to work, yet probably won't.

snogg - noun.  A man-eating beast which resembles an immense green rat and has a habit of hiding in kitchen cabinets.

blinkle-belly - noun.  A blend of root beer and honey-mead, served over ice with a splash of cherry juice.

fistlesnitz - noun.  A small silver spike or hook mounted on the pommel of a sword, allowing a horseman to clean his nails as he rides.

gobclomp - noun.  A spring-loaded clamp designed to hold wet handkerchiefs, typically mounted in a cloakroom above the umbrella stand.

jerryfussle - noun.  A trenchcoat stitched together from childhood blankets, said to ward off evil spirits when worn.

magnarazzo - noun.  A small construction of cured leather stuffed with goose-down, often decorated with beads and worn across the upper lip; to wit, a codpiece for your moustache.

squism - noun.  The wet mark which remains after hurling a kitten against a brick wall.

crappelgork - noun.  A makeshift polearm made from a post-hole digger.

luski - noun.  A small flowering berry-bush which drops its leaves when shouted at in anger.

parrow - noun.  The bastard offspring of a parrot and a sparrow, which amuses itself by giving travellers poor directions.

mulpetty-moo - noun.  The anguished sound emitted by portraiture which knows it is badly painted, audible only to maladjusted children and blind cats.

1 comment: