Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Ancient Yuletide Carols

Recently an old tome was recovered from a cave-tomb near Dropfinger Pass; the well-weathered book, bound in troll-hide, contained some smattering of cosmic lore as well as a series of hymn-spells linked to the worship of moribund lesser godlings of winter and song such as Komo and Mathys.  Once the text of the hymn-spell and the corresponding commentary has been read, these new prayers may be uttered by a priest of any faith or alignment.  We know little of this old cult, but judging by their hymn-spells, they were definitely skilled at espionage and secrecy, and concerned about mutant or lycanthropic infiltrators; any connection to certain green-furred beings is unknown.  Since the cult held power in the north, it will not surprise us that their texts mention reindeer and evergreen trees.  Further mention in the tome of brightly-colored knit sweaters may perhaps place this cult's dominance after the reign of Huxt.  Any relation between this old singing-church and the Rime-Singer cult on the rise in the north is unknown.

Angels We Have Heard on High  (Listen to the Heavens) (level 2)
Using the feather of a non-flightless bird as a focus, the priest incants the prayer, imbuing himself and up to four other people within twenty feet with the temporary ability to understand - but not speak or read - heavenly and angelic tongues.  The effect lasts only 4+1d4 rounds, but this is often sufficient for basic communication with otherworldly visitors.

Children, Go Where I Send Thee  (Scattering the Beardless)  (level 1)
With a mighty exhortation, the cleric demands that younglings remove themselves from his presence (and that of his lawn, no doubt).  When the spell is cast, all sub-adult creatures (humanoid or otherwise) of less than 4HD within 100 feet who fail a save versus spell must depart quickly, scattering back to their snot-nosed hidey-holes.  The casting priest has no control over the direction in which the children will flee, although if the caster is blocking an exit, the tots will react logically and attempt to flee in the opposite direction where reasonable.  Children, Go Where I Send Thee counts as mind-affecting and a fear effect.  While this incantation is potentially curmudgeonly, at least it stops short of the over-the-top effects of a spell like Summon The She-Bears of Vengeance.

Do You Hear What I Hear?  (Sharing the Ears)  (level 2)
This prayer requires the use of two tufts of lambswool, one of which is carried by each recipient of the spell (the caster may be one of these, but need not be).  Once the hymn is sung, the two willing targets can each hear whatever the other one hears, even if separated by up to a mile.

Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer (Shaming of the Deviant)  (level 2)
The priest gathers together a group of people, four to ten in number, and casts the spell; one of the subjects who is not like the others will be magically marked by a crimson glow floating in front of their face.  The spell itself is simple, but its use can be difficult, as the caster has no control over what quality - or lack thereof - the hymn detects.  It may discover a single werewolf amongst a group of innocent villagers (which seems to be its purpose), or it may single out the only adulterer (or non-adulterer!) in the group.  The incantation is thus best used as a tool for coercing confession, rather than a reliable detector.

Silver Bells (Alarum of the Skinchanger)  (level 2)
Bathing some silver sleigh-bells in holy water, the priest sings the hymn.  For the next week, the sleigh-bells will jingle of their own volition when a lycanthrope or shapechanger (doppleganger, etc) comes within ten feet.

What Child Is This?  (Most Infallible Determination of Paternity) (level 1)
The priest spends a full hour anointing a child less than a year in age with holy oils, smudge sticks, etc, and chanting.  By the end of the ritual, the priest hears the name of the child's father whispered in his ear.  The spell always works and always speaks the truth, but there is no guarantee that the name spoken is the same name by which the priest might know the father - aliases, shapechangers, and the like can make a mess of this hymn very quickly.

Let's Go Kill Werewolves, Charlie Brown


  1. "Baby, It's Cold Outside" - the target of this illusion will believe that it is too cold to leave whatever building they are currently in; only fear of life and limb will be able to move them to depart the building until the spell wears off in six hours.

  2. Jingle Bells (Mystical Confession of Copulation) (level 1)
    The priest leads a call-and-response that lasts for a minute. At the end of that minute, any male who has had sex in the last 24 hours will emit a distinct unmistakable jingling sound from his nether regions. This hymn was penned by the headmaster of a preparatory school for boys that was regrettably near a halfway house for orphan girls.

  3. What of that hymn regarding hiking amidst the drifts: Walking in a Winter Wonderland?

  4. Sewicked--same as "Confusion" spell. =)