Some NPCs in Three Rivers

 Digging through documentation from games run several years ago, I came across some writeups for henchpersons and NPCs in the town of Arrowhead (located in the Three Rivers region, as traversed at the time by PC Gunsi the Squirrel).  Basically these were a mess of names and personalities I cobbled together before running those sessions - only a few of them actually appeared in play.

Three Rivers was put together as a place to stitch together Night's Dark Terror and Eye of Traldar and some other stuff.

Major locations

Arrowhead, a bustling town sitting on the trade route

Ironwrack, the imposing fortress-castle of the Warlord who claims the region of Three Rivers.  Ironwrack was the human bastion versus the Bear Dwarves in antiquity; recently repaired by Warlord Zelligant “the Ravenous”.

Squeamish, a medium town at the edge of the Lumberlands

Ruins of Castle Argenta (I had intended to throw the orange-cover B3 in here)

Standing Stones

Lost Valley of Rangdangdiddle, home to the fox-folk

Bernhold, stonefast of the bear dwarves

Factions/Groups

The Poison Crown (Iron Ring) slavers, organized crime, general evil-ness.  Supported by Zelligant the Ravenous.  Attempting to dominate first Three Rivers, then other regions.

Small group of elves

Bear Dwarves (I must like the idea of dwarves that are into bears, as I have another group of these guys further east on the map)

Goblins

HENCHPERSONS IN IRONWRACK.   Ironwrack is the big-ass keep in Three Rivers that was, at the time occupied by a cruel lord called Zelligant, who was a bigwig in the slaver ring known as the Poison Crown.  

Ironwrack recruitables (I can tell I generated the seeds of these with a table):

Custus Framm, trustworthy roustabout with an astrolabe.  Used to work for a wizard (generate in play).  Said wizard disappeared after a heated rivalry with Aurelian, one of the wizards of Ironwrack.  Custus knows the general location of the ruined tower of his former master’s teacher...

Martholomew Rambleshart, intellectual acolyte with a shield.  Rambleshart’s a bit of a know-it-all, but he’s also a 1st-level cleric.  His fine metal shield bears the symbols of his cult (generate lesser saint using ‘Lesser Key’ in play).  DECEASED.  Killed by agents of the Poison Crown in Ironwrack as he accompanied Gunsi the Squirrel.

Veranda Bliss, doe-eyed bookkeeper with a horseshoe.  Veranda earnestly wants to be an ‘adventuring accountant’.  She carries a lucky horseshoe which she swears she saw thrown by a fey steed as some elven knights rode past her family’s farm when she was just a little girl.

ARROWHEAD AREA

While working as a stevedore, the ever-clumsy Mr. Ham Stumbleford sadly lost his left hand due to a piano-stacking accident, but he gets by nicely with an “artifice-ified hand what a wizard gave him” (actually a pair of salad tongs affixed somehow to the stump).  Ham is robustly built and bold, a first-level fighter, although he lacks decent equipment.

Miss Serafina Pale took ill from a rough case of the sanguinary grumbles, passed into a deathlike state,and was accidentally buried alive.  When she clawed her way out hours later, she had a considerably different outlook on life.  Miss Pale is a bit of a dowser and has some psychic potential; although currently zero-level, she’d make a fine magic-user or cleric if life steered her in that direction.  She carries a dowsing-rod made from her own coffin-lid.

Mr. Humdrum Vinegar, until recently a traveling umbrella salesman, has taken up a life of glory based on the proclamations of a carnival fortune-teller.  He is zero-level, 2 hp, armed with a sturdy umbrella (club) and a trash-can lid which he uses as a shield.

TWO WIZARDS OF ARROWHEAD

Phabulus the Warlock is a dashing young man whose red cape and flowing locks are constantly caressed by a cool breeze, even when he’s indoors. Phabulus is an adventuring-wizard, and knows a good bit about the folklore of Wampus Country; collecting such stories and folkways is his passion.  His familiar is a tremendously fat, hairless cat called Penelope who is constantly rolling about and falling off of things.

Vambrol “The Grey” - so called because patches of his skin have turned to cold grey stone - is both skilled wizard and an experienced traveler of this world and others.  He is a master of cartography and owns numerous maps and atlases, including those describing imaginary and impossible places.  Vambrol wears multiple diamond rings on each of his fingers - something about a ward against being scried by the dao who hunt him.  His familiar is a tiny stone-golem with diamond eyes, about four inches tall, called Rochester.

Gunsi the Squirrel had some success in breaking up the slaver ring at the time, but evil never rests, so there's probably a remnant of the Poison Crown out there.

Whisperwing

The below is a critter I submitted at the last minute to a monster-creation contest last year.  It didn't win (hastily-composed things rarely do) but I think it came out pretty fun; it's more of an implicit encounter than a monster, I think.

WHISPERWING
THE STATS (of minimal importance at any rate):
AC 12  HP 10  ATK tiny talons +1 for 1d6
MV N (fly)   Dex +2   Wis +2   LVL 1 fey

APPEARANCE:

A plump iridescent moth, the size of a small annoying dog or a large loaf of bread.  Its eyes are immense and opal-like; its chitin a stunning tortoise-shell.  The wings - bearing scintillating, moving patterns of unearthly color that sometimes seem to coalesce into whispering faces, are heavily furred around the edges and bear long “swallowtail” appendages at the rear.  When at rest or asleep, the wings soften and hang like soft baby blankets.  One sorcerer of my acquaintance described the whisper-wing he saw as “the moth equivalent of a fat, spoiled Persian cat”.  The whisper-wing flies, but only slowly, and with an unsteady manner that makes it appear to be stumbling through the air.  Those who encounter the whisper-wing may at first find it comical.

THE LORE/ENCOUNTER (the good stuff):

These large, nocturnal faerie moths are not native to our world, but are instead another strange byproduct the whirrings of the cosmic orrery.  When the unseelie constellations align just so, mortal secrets and lies coalesce and congeal into an insectoid egg which hatches a single whisper-wing.  Once born, the moth first seeks to fill its belly on any source of protein or sugar it can find for several nights before proceeding with its (un)natural life cycle.  The whisper-wing instinctually yearns to advance along the cosmic wheel by self-immolating in a fire of sufficient size (campfire or larger).  When the intelligent moth spots a suitable bonfire, it will perch in a tree or atop a rock and watch, fascinated, for some time before finally screwing its courage to the sticking-place and charging for the fire.  Whisper-wings can speak the tongues of all civilized men due to their faerie nature, and may improvise quite the soliloquy on their descent to destiny; others may simply rave as to how large and hot the fire looks, and how they cannot wait to throw themselves upon the pyre.  Regardless, any people nearby certainly get the idea the whisper-wing is stumble-flying its way to the fire with glorious suicidal intent.  Those who try to prevent the moth from its destiny will be engaged with drive-by slicings and dicings from the plump insect’s wicked little claws.  Being a horrid little bug made of secrets, the whisper-wing can see secrets, and uses this ability in combat.  If an opponent is hiding a wound, the moth strikes at it unfailingly; if the opponent has a weak side, the moth exploits it.  Otherwise, the moth might taunt its opponent based on deep dark secrets (“Nice dagger, is that the one you used to kill your sister?”)  If slain in combat, the opalescent, plate-like eyes of the whisper-wing could likely be sold as semi-precious stones of significant size (or cut down to be the lenses of magic goggles that reveal auras or the invisible).

When the whisper-wing lies down on the fire and begins to die, it will sing hauntingly in one or more local languages, revealing an important secret as it passes on.  This is, in effect, the last breath of the whisper-wing, which, as you will recall, is not a moth at all, but a conglomeration of secrets made into simplest flesh.  The secret could regard anything - ancient lore, a hidden place or object, political machinations and intrigue, or something personal about a nearby person.  If the whisper-wing is prevented from reaching the fire and held hostage, it may be negotiated with, and likely convinced to reveal a particular secret upon its deathbed rather than a random one.  In this usage is the whisper-wing’s greatest value to most men.

Post-mortem, the curled and toasted husk of the whisper-wing makes a suitable foundation for an enchanted helmet, particularly one intended to be ensorcelled as a helm of comprehending languages, or something proof against ESP.

If seized as a wizard’s familiar - typically by the dedicated casting of find familiar against an entrapped specimen - the whisper-wing begrudgingly becomes a serviceable companion.  As a companion, the moth will attempt to sleep all day (its snoring reminiscent of sighing into a harmonica), demand to be fed buttermilk in a baby bottle, and mutter outrageous probably-false gossip about passers-by.  The whisper-wing grants its magic-user the boon of immunity to effects like know alignment, detect evil/good, and so forth, as well as improved resistance to hostile ESP or penetrating telepathy, so long as the moth is on the wizard’s person.  The whisper-wing contains too many secrets and thoughts in one place and disrupts these sorts of powers by its mere presence and attunement to the magic-user.  The soul-shackling of the familiar unfortunately dissolves the whisper-wing’s ability to see weaknesses, as the mortal companion is such a sad sack of neuroses the fey moth becomes blind to the weaknesses of others in combat.

Happy Halloweeners

 The Happy Halloweeners

A selection of spooky familiars for 5.5, adaptable to other D&Dalikes

Assembled below are some variant familiars themed around the spirit of Halloween.  While not every realm has Halloween, many have something resembling it - a spooky period in the Autumn as the seasons rotate, when the air chills, the leaves tumble, and the realms of the dead are close at hand.  The familiars below all have the regular powers and limitations of the Find Familiar spell, but they also each have a minor extra ability as well.

How to use these Halloweeners

• These critters are imagined as arcane caster familiars but could be used as variant companions for the right sort of cleric or paladin, as appropriate.

• Although in 5.5 familiars can be Celestial, Fey, or Fiendish, given the theming here these Halloweeners should probably be limited to Fey or Fiendish.  They’re all written “cute” rather than “menacing”, so perhaps Fey is the way to go.

• Use one with an NPC (hostile or otherwise); an unusual familiar makes an NPC instantly memorable.

• Allow a PC caster to summon (or upgrade to) one of these familiars as a reward for a Halloween-themed quest - such as defeating a coven of appropriately-themed hags, or for casting the Find Familiar spell in a special place on Halloween, etc.

• Add them to a custom table of summonable creatures for use with a particular Summon Animals spell or related item (Bag of Halloween Tricks?).

• Temporarily replace a PC caster’s normal familiar with a Halloweener during a themed Halloween adventure.

Jack-o-Little.  This softball-sized animated jack-o-lantern offers a friendly, toothy grin, and can be quite useful to the adventuring wizard. First, he emits light as a Continual Flame spell at all times, unless commanded to shut his mouth.  Secondly, despite his lack of visible limbs, the jack-o-little cannot easily be dislodged from its owner’s shoulder when he is happily sitting there, making this familiar an excellent spotlight for the spelunking explorer.  Finally, a number of times per day equal to proficiency bonus, the owner of jack-o-little can speak with plant creatures as per that feature of the Speak With Plants spell.

Pocket Square Ghost.  When not floating lazily about in sheet-ghost form, the tiny pocket-square ghost prefers to rest in a jacket pocket so it can be carried about but still see what’s going on.  Although it can fly and even phase through walls a number of times per day equivalent to its owner’s proficiency bonus, the pocket-square ghost is incredibly slow (Speed 5) and insists on making not-actually-that-spooky noises as it floats around.  The ghost takes itself seriously and may refuse to work if mocked.

Spookan.  An eerie black-and-green bird with a gigantic beak, the Spookan can “follow its nose” and detect the presence of undead within 120 feet, which causes its tremendous proboscis to emit a sickly green glow.  The creature is not clever enough to tell the difference between a lich and a vampire by sight or description, for example, but certainly undead of greater power smell more strongly than a simple zombie or skeleton, and thus trigger a brighter glow. (Note: bringing your Spookan into the presence of an actual death god (Orcus), really legendary undead (Vecna, Dragotha), or similar is very likely to cause the poor familiar to explode comically, never to be summoned again.)

Scaredy-Crow.  This creature, assembled from straw and flannel rags, is essentially a scarecrow version of a crow, which likely causes it considerable existential angst.  The caster attuned to the Scaredy-Crow has advantage on all saving throws against fear effects.

Cauldronid.  A little animated witch’s cauldron the size of a soup bowl, which skitters about on its stubby metal legs (speed 20, can climb walls) when not perched on its owner’s shoulder or hanging from a belt or backpack.  The cauldronid cannot speak but is a happy little fellow, eager to serve.  Its cavity can hold the equivalent of one beverage or potion, which will not spoil while in the cauldron, and which the cauldron will not spill despite its frantic movements.  The cauldronid will dutifully carry a healing or other potion across an active battlezone and pour it in the mouth of an ally.  If the little cauldron is dismissed or destroyed while holding a liquid, that liquid will be destroyed (lost in whatever pocket dimension) by the time he is re-summoned.

Bankenstein.  This little piglet golem has obvious stitching and mismatched parts, having been assembled from multiple piglets.  He has a little slit in his back where you can deposit coins.  Each time the attuned caster places a gold piece in Bankenstein (up to as many times per day as the caster’s proficiency bonus), Bankenstein will manifest the following turn a random effect from the “pig of wonder” table below.  The piglet can of course be aimed if the caster is holding him.  When Bankenstein is out of charges for the day, his belly will appear full and distended, and he will moan a bit and want to take a long nap.

Pig of Wonder effects table

1  Eldritch squeal - Bankenstein emits a terrifying pig-squeal from beyond the dawn of time (possibly from that aberrant plane known as the Farm Realm).  All hearing creatures within 120 feet, including allies, must make a Wisdom saving throw or take 2d8 psychic damage.

2-3  Candy corn - Bankenstein produces a handful of candy corn.  If consumed immediately, the candy corn heals 2d8 hit points.  If saved for later, it’s just candy corn.

4-5 Fire bolt - The piglet burps out a fire bolt spell.

6-7  Web - Bankenstein belches forth a web spell.

8  Jackpot - The piglet loudly and painfully produces every gold piece he’s been “fed” since the last time he delivered a jackpot.  If this is Bankenstein’s first jackpot with you as his owner, then he provides 5d6 gp of filthy lucre.

Legends of Law: Von Hoff

 Wampus Country has had its share of heroes, both in antiquity and in the modern era, but perhaps none is held up as the flower of knighthood quite as much as the crusading paladin known as Von Hoff.

During the last days of the Peacock Throne, as that great empire and its rivals all crumbled into smaller, warring kingdoms, Von Hoff made his name as a swordsman and scion of Law.  It is said he began his career as a healer and hospitaller but soon took to errant deeds, plunging himself into those lawless border regions and taking on subhumans, trolls, criminal syndicates, and the like with equal glee.  His famous steed was an immense black tiger, gifted to him by the Lost Gods of the Sixty-Sixth Path (who were less Lost in those days, we imagine).  This red-eyed beast, more intelligent than most men, served as Von Hoff's battle-companion for many years; they say the tiger could leap incredible distances.

At some point, Von Hoff departed from the blasted Painlands and resettled in what is today Trident Bay.  There he built a watchtower and recruited a retinue of crimson-cloaked heroes to watch over the bay.  Again, an entire region was kept safe due to Von Hoff's vigilance.  Von Hoff and his Watch staved off more than one incursion of hostile fish-men and crab-men; the paladin himself was awarded an enchanted trident by some deity of the sea.  Legend tells us that this legendary trident - today known to sorcerers as Tempest-tide- holds within it a fragment of Von Hoff's mind, and perhaps his musical talent as well.  The weapon is held, alongside others of similar puissance, within Old Man Hut-Tep's lethal museum deep underneath the mountain peak called Smokestack Lightning.

Von Hoff's resting-place is unknown; some have suggested it is deep within an eerie tower - perhaps his original watchtower - which rises from the sea every seven years, off the coast in Trident Bay.  Local tales offer the possibility that, should the fish-men once again rise to attack the dry lands, Von Hoff himself will climb out of his tomb to repel them.

Cosmic Connections

 My fellow wizards, adventuring-frontiersmen, and priests of suitable repute - we have gathered here today in this dubious saloon to cogitate.  To place together our mighty brains, and come up with a solution, a path, a strategy to confront that which is ailing our beloved Wampus Country.

As you all well know, for several years now, fell things have been on the rise.

Nine years past, the deviltry of Hell and its cruel representatives here - that nefarious association known as the Web - attempted to secure the so-called Egg of the Phoenix.  Thankfully, they were foiled. [1]

Eight years ago, the archdevil Fyvee invaded our realm with his retinue of fashionably evil spawn.  Praise the petty gods, he was mostly repulsed. [2]

Since that time, we have not been so lucky.  The unearthing of the Eye of the Leviathan has brought woe to the land.  Evil stirs.  Dark shadows grow long - and bold.  Chaotic creatures not seen since cave paintings gallop across the land.  [3]

In Snollygoster Swamp, the pig-men beat war drums and sing the songs of their god, Porcus.  They have been so bold as to murder and kidnap some of the elders of the frog folk.  [4] There are rumors that even now, they capture and tame snollygosters as beasts of war, awaiting a signal from beyond.

North, in the Snowdeeps, civil war continues among the giant tribes.  That ongoing conflict has occasionally spilled into our own green lands, with destruction in its wake. [5]

Our sources in the east report an army, gathered across the desert, has marched nearly to the edge of the Badlands, and may soon be upon us in Thistlemarch and River-Town, if it so wishes.  At the head of this army, they say, stands a mysterious dark magician. [6]

And now, the seers and augurists paint a bleak picture.  Many of them see the same sorts of images - a war in the heavens, a black blade, a feathered serpent.  We do not yet know what it means.  But we must presume we are on the brink of a very dark age here in Wampus Country.

A very dark age indeed.

This kind of thing is going on constantly.

ENDNOTES

1.  It's true, in 2013 the Rat-House Bastards and some allies played through an adaptation of the module Egg of the Phoenix.  The artifact itself was given to witches for disposal.  Where it now sits...no PCs know.

2. It's true!  In 2014 an archdevil and his warbands pierced the Midnight Sea and arrived in Wampus Country.  Thankfully only a handful of tieflings survived the incursion and subsequent battles.

3. Also true.  The Company of the Black Pearl marched around Wampus Country with an artifact that increased and attracted Evil Stuff for several years.  Lots of goat-men on the rise, and chaotic minotaurs to boot.  Rumblings about a dark Hoofed God.

4. Super true.  Happened during a Wampus Country session run at Hoffcon; luckily the PCs managed to rescue the frogfolk priestess Big Mama Mumu from the clutches of the porcs.

5. Certainly true.  The Critter Gitters in 2021 dealt with some of the fallout of a giant power struggle caused by something the Rat-House Bastards did in 2012.

6. Truly true.  The Critter Gitters watched the beginnings of this army form over a year ago but did not intercede at the time.

ERB and Not ERB

 Typically when people first read Edgar Rice Burroughs, it's the big three - Tarzan, John Carter, and maybe Pellucidar.  These are the best-known Burroughs for good reason, but there are some second-tier books I've read recently that I really enjoyed.  There are also plenty of homages, continuations, and pastiche that might be worth looking at as well.  Below, a few I've recently digested.

A ton of well-described fight scenes in this one.

The Monster Men (1913).  Burroughs' take on Frankenstein/Moreau - maybe - set in the South Pacific. It has monstrous created men, steaming jungles, and pirates!  I listened to this on Librivox and enjoyed it greatly.  Once I'd finished, I found myself wondering why this one hadn't been adapted to the screen.

A nice counterpoint to see how ERB does Carter that isn't Carter (if you've never read Carson or Innes, I guess).  Look, it has cannibal centaurs, that should sell itself.

Now that I've read the tales within, I have quibbles about this cover, but you can't beat an action cover that makes you want to read the book.

The Moon Maid & The Moon Men (1922...but some parts earlier...).   Burroughs stitched together a sword-and-planet adventure, a political tale previously rejected by editors, and an adventuresome part three conclusion into a solid thrillogy.  The first part, The Moon Maid, is the most Burroughsian at first blush due to the exotic location and classic tropes, but the three parts together actually feature a lot of Burroughs staples.  Good action throughout, including some fairly big battles.  I strongly recommend these.

Time's Last Gift.  I enjoy Philip Jose Farmer for the most part, and he has his share of pastiche characters.  "Spoilers" about this novel are all over the internet for you to read on your own if you wish, but suffice it to say there are Burroughs ties within.  A story of time-traveling researchers in the Magdalenian period, Time's Last Gift was a pretty breezy read, with some good drama and action.

It's not as "yass queen slay" as you might think.

Dejah Thoris.  Dynamite Comics.  The John Carter comics from Dynamite are kind of all over the map.  Warlord of Mars is a workmanlike retelling of several of the novels; the most recent series, John Carter of Mars, is just plain ugly.  In-between these, Dynamite published a 37-issue run of Dejah Thoris, featuring the princess' pulpy adventures prior to John Carter's arrival - and I really enjoyed this comic.  Nice art, enjoyable adventures, recurring villains and themes that tie the whole run together.  The second DJ series, and the limited series, aren't as good.  A little more detail on this comic here in my Twitter thread.

Airships versus giant laser colossus.  Come on, people, this is dope.

D&D Comics, part one: the 5e era

Dragon vs Giant action from Frost Giant's Fury

 Various publishers have had the rights to Dungeons & Dragons in comic book form over the years.  As I read (or in some cases, re-read) through these volumes, I'll summarize my recommendations here on the blog.

Here's the bottom line: the D&D comics from IDW are a mixed bag at best.

While some runs are good adventure comics, others are a mess - featuring disappointing writing, sub-par art, or both.  The "Baldur's Gate" series of mini-series occasionally has some highlights but is burdened by its product-of-the-year tie-in nature, and the insufferable "comedy" of Minsc & Boo.  The lead characters in that run who are not Minsc do tend to grow over time and get more interesting.

None of these are "run out and get it!" recommendations, but sometimes you find TPBs marked down, or single-issues in bargain bins.

At The Spine of the World

RECOMMENDED:

At The Spine Of The World.  I liked this Icewind Dale mini-series - the art is nice, the story is well-presented.  Bonus points for being self-contained and having precisely zero Minsc in it.

Frost Giant's Fury

Infernal Tides

OKAY:

Frost Giant's Fury.  Best of the Minsc & Boo series as far as sword-and-sorcery action.

Infernal Tides.  One of the better Minsc & Boo outings.

Mindbreaker.  Minsc & Boo vs mind flayers.

Mindbreaker ties in with the Baldur's Gate 3 vidya game 

NOT RECOMMENDED:

Legends of Baldur's Gate.  The start of our current troubles - the beginning of the Minsc saga.

Shadows of the Vampire.  Minsc & Boo in Ravenloft.  I note that one of the main characters gets a consequence in this run, but they have failed to pull the trigger on that obvious consequence 25 issues later.

Evil At Baldur's Gate. More Minsc & Boo.  So much investment in this series!

A Darkened Wish.  An ambitious story jammed incautiously into five issues of dubious art.

Actual action shot of a dragonborn from A Darkened Wish. 

Ravenloft: Orphan of Agony Isle.   Set in the reimagined 5e Ravenloft, this one's about Viktra Mordenheim, the brilliant scientist and abusive weirdo, as well as the girl she's experimenting on, and Viktra's former lover Elise (the monster).  The art is very 2022, and the pacing tells me the writer wants this story to be a slow-burn mystery and maybe a dysfunctional love triangle.  Unfortunately it's burning so slowly I can't possibly care about the characters.  Things look up a tad in issue #3 as Elise arrives, but I can't promise I'm going to finish this one.

Orphan of Agony Isle