Henching for Fun and Profit

Here's something to add to your "henchman generator" folder.

The other day Christopher (of Carapace King) said of playing in Wampus Country:

"My dude will almost certainly be eaten by an animate dutch oven or something and I need to know what kind of dog-faced washerwoman I'll be taking to glory in his place."

Naturally this triggered some calls for a Wampus-specific henchman table of some sort. And, on top of that, I still owed William (of A Wizard's Kiss) some sort of table with NPC quirks. Hopefully this table covers both of those things...

d100 Henchpersons & Hangers-On (also to be known as the "Dog-Faced Washerwoman" Table)

It's a g-doc, as usual, which you can save off and customize, or download in pdf format.

The first column has a personality trait or notable physical trait.

The second column has a profession or personality trait.

The third column is an object.

To roll up a henchman (or townsfolk-type NPC), roll on columns A and B to get results like "hot-tempered yodeller" and "fashion-conscious tobacconist".  A roll on column C may give you an object that the hench carries around, or perhaps seeks.  So that's the dog-faced washerwoman sorted.

Now for the animate dutch oven...   Wampus Country does indeed seem to have its share of animated objects and things wandering about, doesn't it - notably good ol' Wiggybench, animated park-bench companion to Lord Vallasen of Frogport.

You too can have (or be) an animated hench-object!  Ground rules:

1) Approximately one in thirty henchables will be animated objects.  When recruiting, roll a d30, and on a 30, there you go.

2) Roll on the table below for a convenient HENCH-OBJECT ORIGIN and it will direct you to roll on certain columns in the Dog-Faced Washerwoman table.  

1,2, 3 - Tragically Cursed!   Used to be a B, but is now sadly an A C.

4 - Cursed And Loving It!  Was once an A B, but is now an A C, and is enjoying its new form immensely.

5, 6 - Magical Creation (Design).  Brought to life intentionally by a wizard-type; is an A C.

7, 8 - Magical Creation (Spontaneous).  Was always a C, but was bathed in magical energy in some fashion, and awakened to sapience and its A personality.

9 - Avatar.  Was once an angel, fairy, or otherdimensional gewgaw, now placed into the form of an A C with an important epic mission - or so it believes.

10 - Marvelous Two-In-One.  Reroll origin, but roll on C twice, combining the two.  Stitched, lashed together, glued, something.  (Optional: pick an animal-generating table from somewhere and mix that in if you like - a housecat with a beer-stein for a head sounds pretty cool to me)

Some curse effects may turn a PC into an animated (non-hench) object as well, but that will require winging it a bit.   All animated objects are subject to various weaknesses and craziness based on their form.

Animated hench-objects are ambulatory if they have legs (like a table or wood-stove), or are essentially a pile of something.  Otherwise, they'll have to be carried.  Objects with four or more legs may carry passengers/riders if of the appropriate size and weight.

Most (75%) animated hench-objects have the power of speech, with a little mouth appearing somewhere.  All animated hench-objects are assumed to have the same senses as a normal human, along with similar vulnerabilities, even if they don't technically have eyes.

Spellcasters transformed into a hench-object may still cast spells so long as they have the power of speech.  However, this can be a real pain - just ask the wizard Sebacious Bumkindle, who was transformed into an animated bedpan, and must now be pointed at his enemies by his mentally-challenged gibbon porter, Mister Joops. 

"Clumsy, pea-brained oaf seeks gainful employment, preferably involving firearms."